i ended up seeing a movie that i didn't intend to see today. due to spending a couple more minutes than i should have on facebook and going to the slowest mcdonald's on the planet, i missed the movie i set out to see.
i saw 'julie & julia' instead.
i was sitting there, enjoying myself, as i always do when meryl is on the screen and out of nowhere God showed up.
last year this time, i was on the tail end of a year long tailspin. i was starting over.
i received a text during the movie, telling me that the trailer for my new webseries was posted. in that moment, i realized that so much had happened since last august.
we shot the first episode of the series, a series i helped create, last august. i couldn't be at the shoot. i was broke. i could barely put gas in my car. correction, i could NOT put gas in my car. so, from a distance, i helped steer the ship, uncertain if i'd be able to finish what i'd started. at that time, i couldn't see a point where i could be involved in the way that i needed to be.
fast forward one year later, i spend two weeks in l.a., hanging out with friends and working on the project. the thought never once crossed my mind about how broke i was the year before. receiving the text today, i remembered.
i think it's because of the markers. it's the end of a year and a day away from starting a new one.
"cool," i thought, "now back to the movie."
moments after receiving the text, amy adams' character goes through a series of events that parallel my life and my dreams. without even really knowing if anyone would be reading, she writes. her blog, fueled by her passion and her willingness to be present changes her life.
i should have known something was going to happen at this screening. when the trailer for the "fame" remake came on, i thought to myself how the original is partly responsible for years of poverty and rejection. i also thought to myself, "i wouldn't have it any other way."
i needed to see this movie today. i had made an agreement with my friend kara that we'd both see it this weekend. but in the spirit of getting in my own way, i decided at the last minute to see 'district 9.' apparently the universe had other plans.
i don't think i've cried like this at a movie, ever. the last fifteen minutes became one long "thank you." i wasn't just thankful for the blessed year. i was thankful for running late and the slow people at mcdonald's. i am also thankful for what's in store.
i cried because i hear God in moments like that. i am overwhelmed by how great that force is when God speaks. these moments teach me how to listen and how to trust my intuition. doing those those things has served me fairly well.
i am also reminded that i am not doing this alone. it's not just me and God. it's me and you. i was reminded about how careless people can be with someone's dreams and i will hopefully be more careful to not be that way. i was reminded about faith.
there isn't any way, in any logical scenario, that i should have been planning on doing something that shoots in l.a.; but that's what i did.
it didn't make sense. i didn't have answers, but i knew that it felt right. it is an incredible feeling to realize that you've taken steps in the dark and arrived exactly where you want to be.